All right, here we are—Session 2.

There are just a few things I want to provoke you to think about. I’m so glad we have this time together. I never take for granted what can happen when two people come together and allow God to begin that iron-sharpening-iron process—the true, redefined discipleship.

So thank you for staying in it, for persevering, and for being willing to continue. These are huge aspects of your abiding development, and it’s good to be reminded of that—especially when you’re having to look into where you may have been arrested in your development.

One of the things I want to help with is giving you a framework for identifying not just where you may be stuck, but what that might actually look like.

One of the most common strategies when we are in arrested development is avoidance. We avoid situations. We avoid conversations. We avoid responsibility. We simply don’t engage. You might say, “Don’t push me to do that—I’m not doing it. The more you push, the more I resist.” Sound familiar?

So today I want to help you recognize specific avoidance behaviors. These are not to rate or judge yourself but to help you become more aware. You’ll find these in your worksheet. I encourage you to take time later to go through them slowly, not rushed.

We’ll use a scale of 1 to 7, with 1 being ‘always’ and 7 being ‘never’, and again—this is not a test. It’s a tool for reflection. The goal is to gently uncover how these behaviors might be showing up in your life and why.

Let me walk you through these:

1. Because of fear, I often avoid participating in certain activities.
   For me, if I couldn’t do something well the first time, I didn’t want to do it at all. Learning was painful because I believed messing up meant embarrassment or ridicule—and I believed that because I had experienced it.

2. When I sense I might fail in something important, I become nervous or anxious.
   It’s not about eliminating nervousness; the question is: Why does the idea of failure cause such anxiety? Is it tied to what people might think? Is it rooted in shame?

3. I worry.
   Short statement. Big impact. Do you find yourself stuck in worry?

4. I have unexplained anxiety.
   You can’t always put your finger on it, but it’s there—restless, constant, lingering.

5. I am a perfectionist.
   I used to joke, “I’m a perfectionist… but not a practicing one.” In other words, I believed the standard was perfection, but because I knew I couldn’t meet it, I acted like I didn’t care. Maybe you do the same—make fun of people who care or pretend it doesn’t matter.

6. I am compelled to justify my mistakes.
   This is rapid-fire defensiveness. The second someone points something out, you’re ready with three of their mistakes. You can’t simply hear feedback. Any critique feels like a direct hit to your identity.

7. There are certain areas in which I feel I must succeed.
   Failure is not an option. You must be #1. You must be the best. Anything less feels intolerable. This often ties into competitiveness and the need to prove yourself.

8. I become depressed when I fail.
   Not necessarily clinical depression, but that heaviness that comes from turning your anger inward. You scold yourself, isolate, or become consumed with self-hatred. Failure triggers shame and punishment from within.

9. I become angry with people who interfere with my attempts to succeed.
   When someone blocks your plans or exposes weakness, you feel they’ve made you look incompetent. And so anger rises—often rooted in fear of being “found out” or judged.

10. I am self-critical.
    You replay conversations, critique your responses, berate yourself: “Why did I say that?” “Why didn’t I just be quiet?” You rarely offer yourself grace.

In this session, I wanted to help you get more specific about how you might be attempting to avoid failure at all costs. These avoidance patterns are often clues to deeper beliefs and past experiences.

So my question to you is:
Why are you avoiding failure?
What do you believe about people who fail?
What do you believe it says about you if you fail?

Avoidance consumes a lot of energy. These behaviors are often rooted in a past you’re still trying to outrun—pressurized moments, rejections, humiliations, abandonment.

When you can’t look at yourself honestly...
When you can’t receive correction or instruction...
You shut down your own true, abiding development.

So take a moment. Revisit your worksheet—not to analyze yourself, but to invite God to gently show you the truth. This is how trust grows. This is how transformation begins.

Let me pray for you:

Father,
I thank You that You know exactly where they’re at.
I thank You that in the provoking of these thoughts and reflections, You are present.
I thank You, Holy Spirit, that You are the ever-present help in times of trouble.
If anything is triggered or stirred up, I thank You that You are there to meet them in it.
They are not alone. In Jesus’ name—Amen.

Take some time with this.
Give it thought.
You are not alone.
And you’re right where you need to be.