All right, here we are—we’re back again. Now remember, the gears are shifting. These may seem like simple concepts, and I’m getting ready to give you a simple definition of arrested development. But don’t ever forget: something is actually happening inside of you.

God is going to tend to you. He’s going to care for you—if you let Him. Could you make that decision right now? Just simply let Him be the One leading you in this process. I’m accompanying you, I’m walking with you—but the One who is really leading this? It’s Him.

I want to remind you that sometimes simple definitions and concepts can be used very powerfully to awaken things that might be just under the surface.

So, here’s the best definition I have of arrested development—and you’ll see this in your worksheet:

Arrested development means a plateau of development in some area has occurred. It is the retention of juvenile characteristics.

Do you remember the childish ways we talked about earlier? That’s part of what this is referring to.

Let me say it again:
Arrested development means there’s been a plateau—a leveling off or stopping—in your growth in some area. It also means retaining juvenile characteristics.

So I hope you’ll write that down. Think about it. Realize that you may have reached a certain point in your life… and then stopped.

For example, I started drinking when I was 16. I didn’t stop drinking until I was 27. Even though I finished high school, went to college, had jobs, became a professional, got married—all kinds of things—my outward life may have looked successful. But inwardly… how many of you want to guess where I had stopped growing?

It was about the age of 16.

That’s one of the ways I plateaued. I hit that age and decided, “This is too much.” I turned to partying, drinking—and I used it all to its fullest for about the next 10 years. But when I stopped, I had to begin addressing the parts of me that had been frozen in place. I was definitely living in arrested development.

Why? Because I was putting parts of myself to sleep.

You might be doing that with other things. I won’t go too deep right now, but I want to give you real-life examples of what this definition means.

As we continue, we’re going to look at where we’ve been arrested—where we’ve plateaued, shut down, or just stopped growing. You may have gone on to do great things—been physically or professionally successful—but that doesn’t mean you’ve grown into who you were truly meant to be.

That’s what happened to me. I began to taper off because I couldn’t handle the pressure—what I call claustrophobic relational pressure. There was so much going on in abusive situations, and being in relationships felt overwhelmingly demanding. I needed relief. So I escaped.

You might have used different escapes.

But here’s another example: sometimes, you might be stone-cold sober, but every time you go to a family reunion, you snap right back into your old family role. You’ve always been “the responsible one.” The oldest. The fixer. Everyone says, “Go to them—they’ll know what to do.”

That might be you. You might want to put your name in that blank.

Or maybe, like me, you were the class clown—always joking, making fun of yourself before someone else could. I had a college education, a home, a marriage… but inwardly, so many places had plateaued and were still controlling me.

In social situations, if I was around people who knew me, I felt confident. But take me into a new space with people I didn’t know? Suddenly, I felt insecure. I wanted to be a wallflower, sit in a corner, and act like I didn’t care if anyone talked to me or not.

Are you with me?

Do you see why I might be the one to pass this on to you today?

Whether you’ve been overly responsible, the clown, the helper—whatever role—you may still be stuck in one you assigned to yourself, or one others put on you. That’s arrested development.

It’s where you’ve plateaued and retained juvenile characteristics—even though you might have a college degree, a high-caliber profession, a valuable skill set. Outwardly, you’re thriving. But inwardly—that’s where we’re looking—there may be places where you’re still stuck.

So I want you to give some thought to that.

And I’ll see you back here shortly.